A Steaming Pile Of Knit

Proportion, fit, color

2010-01-11T17:39:00.000-08:00

Tim Gunn will be back with us on Thursday. A new season of Project Runway begins.
Tim will remind us about "Fit, proportion and color".
As we work our way into the routine of a new decade, let's all hide under this. What is this? A cowl vest? Cest? Vowel? Maybe the linebacker that they had lined up to model this was busy, and so they got a more traditional model.
Seriously, who was this going to fit?
I'm not even going to ask who it was going to flatter.

Hamburger Dress

2010-01-05T23:34:00.001-08:00

A hamburger dress
So flattering.
The sesame seeds are a very nice touch.
I believe this creation is crochet. But I still love it.

Happy New Year. 2010!

2008-06-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

As the heat comes up, and you are looking around for a summer knitting project, why not give this little kicky number consideration. It will be perfect for any coronations that you may have on your calendar for the fall. (hopefully her hair will have grown out from the accident by then)

June Brides

2008-05-31T09:40:00.000-07:00

In honor of all the beautiful June Brides, here is a lovely crocheted inspiration.

Call PETA Immediately

2008-05-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Does this sweater make my nose look big?

People say that dogs look like their owners. So perhaps Pink owns this little dog. Is Pink a knitter?

To Russia with love

2008-05-10T21:51:00.000-07:00

This is so seasonally appropriate it makes me laugh.
What a beautiful model... Diamond brooch... lovely tweed coat. And then there are 16 pounds of hat on her head.

A Hat Trick

2008-05-03T22:40:00.000-07:00

Three knit dresses.

Can you picture yourself in any of them? Do they look fun to knit? Are they flattering?

These are the questions that you need to ask yourself before you embark on any new project.
I'll let you consider the answers

Faux Hawk

2008-04-14T02:54:00.000-07:00

Take a ride back to the punk days of London. The wonderfully defiant gritty urban statement. The MOHAWK :

Fast forward to the latest infomercial invention: The Slipper Genie! Wear the slippers, clean your floors. Simple as that!

And then combine the two for a stunning knit creation.
Somewhere, this all went horribly wrong. You don't get the sharp point of teenage angst, and railing against the establishment. And you can't clean anything. And, you look like a muppet.
Still, I love that they tried!

"I Do" Ahoy!

2008-04-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

Oh, I was going to get married, in a field, and carry daisies. Then I grabbed a pair of wedgie sandals, and ran out the door to a picnic. It's a costume-party, so I thought the red silk do-rag was PERFECT. I am a pirate. Ahoy! I was so pleased with my costume, I did a quick interpretive movement "dance". And then I woke up.

USS SAG

2008-03-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

I was afraid that if I made a skirt, it may look saggy and droopy after I sat in it a few times. So I decided to make it look saggy on purpose, then no one would think my butt had pulled and stretched it out. In order to really get the full effect I employed all kinds of tricks. First I did stripes. These are super effective at highlighting the line. They actually form POINT that points out the sag. Then I did an increase so that the stripes slant down. Next, I wore a clingy, knit, fleshy colored top. And then I wrapped a beaded "belt" around me. I let THAT sag a little, in keeping with the theme. My favorite part of the whole outfit though, is the black men's-office socks that I wear under my boots. They really add such a great element of whimsy to the whole thing, don't you think?

Workin' shoe

2008-03-03T22:42:00.000-08:00

This is one pimped up shoe. Get your hooks out, and do you up a shoe!

A Red Gown

2008-02-28T08:32:00.000-08:00

And the Oscar goes to...

2008-02-23T00:30:00.000-08:00

I saw some knit sushi once, and I felt very inspired. I decided I wanted to look like a salmon. Yummy and big.

Garden Party

2008-02-19T02:50:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite little number for a garden party or a tea. I like to wear it with by high heel gladiator sandals, and a wide brim hat, to protect me from the ultra violet rays.

Animal Cruelty

2008-02-15T04:30:00.000-08:00

Look at the poor thing. So unhappy.

The Runs

2008-02-12T09:53:00.000-08:00

This sweater is fabulous. It fits well, and is a nice standard "guy" sweater. And then, some horrendous cat accident happened, and there are huge runs peppered about. What a shame. What? It was not an accident? No. If the run does not continue down, it was put in intentionally. I thought that urban grunge of this "green day" level of sophistication could only be found now in Seattle. Is grunge back? Can I wear long johns under my camo shorts?

2008-02-09T16:24:00.000-08:00

A poncho wrap looking worn and tattered. The effect only exaggerated by the warn jeans. Yes. There is a limit to the size of needles. There is a limit to how big you want the stitch to get.

Angel or Spider

2008-02-05T09:41:00.000-08:00

The sweater itself is not bad - but look closely, there are Wings. Actual WINGS.
Or, are those spiderwebs?

The real shock is how MAINSTREAM the source of this material is. Arguably, the largest most popular high end yarn distributer published this. And, might I add, JUST NOW. This is current. Bleeding edge, in fact. So as you grapple for a "Halloween" excuse, there isn't one. The statement from the designer is "A beautiful collection of etheral and dreamlike designs inspired by the crumbling ruins of an ancient abbey."
Really? So the Cob web was inspired by the spiders now installed in the ancient ruins?
Please, in the name of all that is holy, will someone explain this?

In a YEAR of posting, this will be hard to top. Lapses in judgment with fun fur are just low hanging fruit at this point. THIS...this is a top prize winner in my eyes.
I can't even discuss the "styling" on the hair. While it is a distracting bird's nest , that seems to be just a minor point. "Other than the wings, Mrs. Lincoln, what do you think of my hair?"

We'll have a vote later. But I am going to state now, this early on in the year, that this post will be a contender for the year's biggest mistake.

Double Scoop

2008-02-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

This was SUCH a good idea, I decided to make two. And, I even did two pony tails, so that I would have a way to show off the double decker.

Swe - the first part of a sweater

2008-01-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

Here is a really nice half a sweater. Excellent with a big tent dress. My steaming mug of Latte is bigger than the sweater.

Pirate's dream

2008-01-26T00:20:00.000-08:00

A pirate's dream

sunken chest

Stitch count, needle sizes, gauge...it all went terribly wrong.

2008-01-22T22:58:00.000-08:00

I worked out the stitch pattern, and it looked great. So I thought I'd work some buttons into it, and make a sweater. Cookie monster team colors. Woo hoo!

Ballarina

2008-01-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

I am a dancer. I have worked my whole life to perfect my craft and my body. And now to highlight my dance, I have chosen this hand knit lower portion. It keeps me warm as I dance by the ocean. Nothing says "sculpted legs" like some pink/mauve fur, wouldn't you agree?

Pet Abuse

2008-01-15T09:30:00.000-08:00

If you are going to make me wear a sweater, can I at least pick the color? I don't like teal. And we gotta get you out of those capris as well.

Tangled

2008-01-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

I got a new ball winder for Christmas. It was working fine, for a while, and then this happened. I picked up the tangle form the floor, and I found there was a hole big enough for my head, and I pulled it on. It makes a perfect poncho.

Slippery Slope

2008-01-07T21:47:00.000-08:00

Super cool, vintage fringed coat.

And here is something that just should not be done out of yarn.

And is it just me, or is there something proportionally wrong with the hips in this picture?

Mutton: Leg of...

2008-01-04T17:11:00.000-08:00

For real? Black background with some strong color? Stripes? A bleach white stripe on the boobie? And then, three-quarter sleeves? Paired with ladies leather "driving gloves". Horizontal?
And the sleeve. A leg-of-mutton. Excellent. A strong "victorian era" design choice.
Christian on Project Runway would like the 80's back. And he can have them. All of them. I'll stick to my 90's!

Happy New Year

2008-01-01T18:44:00.000-08:00

I got a hair cut to start the new year out clean. I love my monochromatic thing I have going here, my poncho, my scarf and my turtle neck are all looking rather green-ish. Big needles. Big fun.

Holiday Buffet

2007-12-23T09:26:00.001-08:00

Here is a whole buffet.

Not by machine.

Not by hand.

there is no excuse for this sort of sweater.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, and a tasteful champagne-filled celebration.

High Beams

2007-12-21T20:01:00.000-08:00

Cute vest. I couldn't find buttons big enough, so I made some out of coasters I had. I ran out of yarn for the final rib cuff, so I switched colors. Doesn't it look "whimsical" and like I did it on purpose?

Back on the Farm

2007-12-19T18:41:00.000-08:00

I got dressed with the farmer's almanac as my guide to the weather. I thought it was summer, so I threw on a skirt and a summer backless top. And then I got outside and whew! It was cold. So looked around and quick found this half an old sweater. I wear this in the chicken coupe, so when they come pecking at me, my arms won't get any marks on them.

2007-12-15T13:43:00.000-08:00

Really? This is knit out of polypropylene rope on the ends of bats. The Grinch who stole my size 35's.

Camel Ruffle

2007-12-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

I really like Flash Dance, so the shoulder is working for me.
But I didn't know that the sleeves would use so much yarn, so I didn't have any left for the body. I love ruffles so I added them with the little bits left over.
I am plum tuckered out from all the milking I've been doing. I need to step back in the barn and keep at it. I have 7 more cows to milk before I go to school.

Holiday Excess

2007-12-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

Could a scarf move from "warm and snuggly" to "offensive"? This looks like a 1960's movie "the scarf that ate Cleveland". "I got this electric blue yarn from the sale bin at JoAnn's. They had so much of it, I was so happy. I knit all 14-2 pound balls into this one scarf! Yipee!"

A Medly

2007-12-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

A medly of fun fur and some bumpy yarn - neither of which should have made it past the scetching stage, much less all the way out to production.
They were so proud of this that it made the cover shot. E.A.S.Y. Accessories. So, you don't have to knit fur on Double Pointed Needles? Or you have to seam fun fur up the back? Which of those whould be E.A.S.Y.?
And the model turned her head to the side to feign innocence. "If I hold my head at this quizitive angle, they can't hold me resposible".

Put a fork in it.

2007-12-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

Put a fork in it, cause I'm done.
Nope... really, I'm done. I'm going to leave the sweater like this, and wear it around.
Really.

Ahoy!

2007-12-06T02:51:00.000-08:00

I am a jaunty sailor! Last time I was out on the open water, I had a vision of this outfit. I thought yarn would be great as a bikini bottom. And I thought a tube top was practical for a day of 'hoisting the main sail'. My favorite part is the gold buttons I placed lined up with my belly button. They add such great nautical flair, and are in keeping with my general motif. I have on SPF 75!

Awakenings

2007-12-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

I wanted a simple pattern, so I picked this one. It's only the knit stitch. Not a purl, or a decrease in it. It was going well, until I fell asleep sitting up because I was so bored with the project. I don't think the trumpet coming out of my head is that bad, do you? I didn't run out of yarn, so I just left it.

Staying with the fur

2007-12-03T21:55:00.000-08:00

I used to be a line backer. So I really miss the shoulder protection of the game. This dressy fur knit lets me wear the pads, and my black pleated skirt together. Excellent! I don't think the word "boxy" even begins to describe the shape. "Volvo-in-the-80's"-boxy.

Fur for the Holidays

2007-12-02T09:59:00.000-08:00

I really wanted to buy a mink - but instead I thought I would knit this substitute from petroleum by product. Doesn't it look 'real'? Don't you love the color? Orange.

"Bigger is Better"

2007-11-30T08:08:00.000-08:00

I spent a year and I knit a throw for our king size bed. It was beautiful, and took a long time to finish. But the other day I was lying on it and I thought it would make a wonderful sweater. So I gathered the whole thing up, and came up with this! Isn't it marvelous? I didn't want a single stitch to go to waste, so I used the entire blanket! That way, if the kids and I go out together, they can all stand close to me, and I won't have to carry extra sweaters for them. As a matter of fact, I can have a child in each sleeve, and my husband and I will just share the sweater.

And then I changed my mind

2007-11-28T23:32:00.001-08:00

I bought 20 balls of yarn, and I started to make a blanket, but I changed my mind after a strange kitchen accident pulled out tons of stitches. I simply adjusted my 'creative vision', and now I am debuting a swanket.

After Dancing

2007-11-27T22:25:00.000-08:00

After I do an interpretive dance, I loosely wrap this half of an afghan around my hips. It helps to keep me warm. I ate last Wednesday, I think.
Is it the ruffle that is so offensive? Or the use of "stash" yarn? Or the unnecessary use of a size 17 needle? Not sure.

Lost in the Highlands

2007-11-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

I used to weigh 170, but I've been lost in the Scottish Highlands for the last 13 days. I walked my chest off. I am just looking for a sandwich.

Welcome

2007-11-24T09:12:00.000-08:00

Welcome to a wild and wooly ride.

The first post will be gentle. Just a misunderstanding really.
But there are several questions.
Roses?
Over the hips and down the thigh?
Three quarter length sleeves? (Does that balance out the proportions? No.
The beads scattered about on the right breast?
You might be guessing that this was pulled out of a file from the 80's. But actually its from all the way back to 2006.
But when they started knitting it, it must have been the 80's. They just finished in time for the photo shoot.